Broken

Today I feel as if I’m broken. Broken brain. Broken heart.

My brain latches on to a stray thought, turns it into a vivid dream. Mid-dream I drift into consciousness, and my heart latches on.

The dream is so beautiful, as I drift back to sleep my heart wills it to go on while my brain tries to stop the lie.

I wake, unaware of what transpired in the night. My day begins as any other. Shower, dress, commute, work.

And then the hole in my heart cries out. My brain remembers. And all is lost.

After years of working to accept, to move on and no longer hope, it continues to creep up on me.

A stray thought ruins me. Tears, panic attacks, and doubt take over.

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